Jack Hanley, our resident co-KJ, also functions as a gay stripper and rents his shoes to the denizens of Folsom Street for sniffing purposes. He's a sick puppy and needs to be locked up, we're pretty sure.

An expert at reaching very tall things and drinking energy drinks, Jack brings a sense of altitude to the night. Also, he's going to need to rewrite his own blurb and if this doesn't inspire him to, I don't know what will.